You disgusts me

Your face disgusts me
With all your fake smiles and hurtful lies
The look from your eyes that says:
You are so small and weak
So worthless and useless

As if I didn´t know that already

A disscution with you means no own opinion allowed
You are always right and I´m always wrong
Everyonelse is always wrong
You think you always knows the best
And I´m not allowed to get my voice heared

You loud voice scares me
When you screaming at me without a reason
You make me feel so small

I´m so small
I´m so small


So worthless

A "perfect" family

I opened a photoalbum

And looked at old family pictures

It reminded me of the wonderful time

When I was always happy

A time that was so perfect

Well we were perfect

Or so I tought..

But this wasn´t a perfect family like I and everyone else believed

No, it was just lies,a fake charade

Full of dark secrets in every corner

Who could have known?

Well I start to believe that I was the only one who didn´t notice

Even now I can´t believe When they say that he smells a lot of alcohol

He´s not sober

It´s probably because I have grown up with his smells and acts

So I can´t tell if he´s drunk or not

When I went to the island I used to love

But now that I really hate

I heared rumors, lies and even the truth from people all around

I now realize that the rumors is true

Mummy was cheeting...

I know now

That she were never happy

Maybe dad deserved it?

Everything was his fault

I have heared so many stories

That I still can´t believe

I don´t know you

I don´t know anyone of you anymore

I don´t know who I schould trust

Who I should believe in..

Maybe I just don´t deserve the truth

I can´t believe and I can´t cry

If you only knew
How you affected my life
By just one lie
You´ve got me addicted to the knife

Just because of you I can´t cry
I take this blade and pierce my skin
The blood is falling down and I don´t know why
Why I´m bleeding insted of crying

I felt guilty when I left you
Cause you nreeded me more than ever
Being with you nerly got me killed
I tought this family would last forever

Just because of you I can´t cry
I take this blade and pierce my skin
The blood is falling down and I don´t know why
Why I´m bleeding insted of crying

I can´t trust anyone anymore
And it´s all because of you
Why did you lie?
Now I can´t believe that anything is true

Never forgive myself

It´s hard to forgive and forget
But daddy I miss the times we had
I´m sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most
I should have let you drag me down in your sorrows
Let you cry in my knees
I was all you´ve got, your little princess
But I left you...
And I will never forgive myself for that

Har du glömt mig?
Är jag inte bra nog för dig?
Jag kanske är för jobbig för nån som du
Men om du vill ska kan jag försvinna från ditt liv nu
Jag kan ta mitt liv, försvinna från allt
Eller i såren stö salt
Om du vill så plågar jag mig själv för dig
För att du ska förstå... att jag älskar dig

Things that you do and say
Hurt so badly sometimes
It´s not like you´re mean
But you don´t know what
I´ve been going through
And even if you did know, you still wouldn´t´understand...
Cause even I don´t
So I have to tell you
That every word you say can make me cry
Even if you didn´t have a bad intension
I´m very sensitive and so easy to break
So try to not say anything
Anything that reminds me of my past

giving up on me

I can hear it on their voices
I can see it in their eyes
Everyone is giving up on me..

It really took a long time for me to see
That they have lost their hope
Lost their hope on me

And now they are bored out and tired of my sellfish ways
Tired of my mood swings and new scars

well I can´t blame them..

Atleast they can leave whenever they want
But I will always be stuck with myself