Obsessed with death

You asked me why I´m so obsessed with death
And I couldn´t find an answear
There is something....just something..
Unexplainable..
I guess I love the pain
Blood sticking to my skin
Beutiful scars that are so vain
It´s like they are filling an empty hole..
Deep inside of me..

And I can´t help but to be courius
What would happend if I died?
Is there a so called brighter side?
Does a heaven exist?
Or maybe I would be able to start over again
But I´m not only obsessed with death
No, it scars me to
What if death is worser than life
Maybe it´s more painful

Who knows?... only the dead does
The wandering souls around us
Should I ask?
Would they answear me?
Or even hear me?

I tried to ask my dead brother
I have always believed since I was a kid, that he is my guardian angel
And I still do
But when I asked him
I started to panic
Someone started to drag me around the hall
Hurted me,laugh at me

Whispering: I can´t stop, I´m to obsessed

Why can´t they kill me?
Why just play with me!?

Where am I?
What´s happening?

I take the knife, life is to scary to me
And so are death
But I guess I´m just to obsessed