Sacrificed soul

My soul is gone, bound to guide the dead
Alive by night, dead by dead
Turning screaming noises to voices in my head
Cry for help, scared by the illusions, want to get away
But I sacrificed my soul and are now bound to be a living dead

My body is weak and cold
It´s hard to breath, hard to speak
without my soul I won´t grow old
My finak destination will be on the highest peak
There will I sacrifice my body to the underworld
To the spiritis of eternity

Drown your pain in all my tears
And let me wash away all of your fears
Drown your sorrows in my pain
And let me show you that love ain´t vain
I will hold you forever
Don´t you ever doubt me, never!
I will show yoou that you can trust me
I would do anything for you, be as you want me to be
You have me
My body and my soul
and my heart belongs only to you

You disgusts me

Your face disgusts me
With all your fake smiles and hurtful lies
The look from your eyes that says:
You are so small and weak
So worthless and useless

As if I didn´t know that already

A disscution with you means no own opinion allowed
You are always right and I´m always wrong
Everyonelse is always wrong
You think you always knows the best
And I´m not allowed to get my voice heared

You loud voice scares me
When you screaming at me without a reason
You make me feel so small

I´m so small
I´m so small


So worthless

A "perfect" family

I opened a photoalbum

And looked at old family pictures

It reminded me of the wonderful time

When I was always happy

A time that was so perfect

Well we were perfect

Or so I tought..

But this wasn´t a perfect family like I and everyone else believed

No, it was just lies,a fake charade

Full of dark secrets in every corner

Who could have known?

Well I start to believe that I was the only one who didn´t notice

Even now I can´t believe When they say that he smells a lot of alcohol

He´s not sober

It´s probably because I have grown up with his smells and acts

So I can´t tell if he´s drunk or not

When I went to the island I used to love

But now that I really hate

I heared rumors, lies and even the truth from people all around

I now realize that the rumors is true

Mummy was cheeting...

I know now

That she were never happy

Maybe dad deserved it?

Everything was his fault

I have heared so many stories

That I still can´t believe

I don´t know you

I don´t know anyone of you anymore

I don´t know who I schould trust

Who I should believe in..

Maybe I just don´t deserve the truth

I can´t believe and I can´t cry

If you only knew
How you affected my life
By just one lie
You´ve got me addicted to the knife

Just because of you I can´t cry
I take this blade and pierce my skin
The blood is falling down and I don´t know why
Why I´m bleeding insted of crying

I felt guilty when I left you
Cause you nreeded me more than ever
Being with you nerly got me killed
I tought this family would last forever

Just because of you I can´t cry
I take this blade and pierce my skin
The blood is falling down and I don´t know why
Why I´m bleeding insted of crying

I can´t trust anyone anymore
And it´s all because of you
Why did you lie?
Now I can´t believe that anything is true

Never forgive myself

It´s hard to forgive and forget
But daddy I miss the times we had
I´m sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most
I should have let you drag me down in your sorrows
Let you cry in my knees
I was all you´ve got, your little princess
But I left you...
And I will never forgive myself for that

Har du glömt mig?
Är jag inte bra nog för dig?
Jag kanske är för jobbig för nån som du
Men om du vill ska kan jag försvinna från ditt liv nu
Jag kan ta mitt liv, försvinna från allt
Eller i såren stö salt
Om du vill så plågar jag mig själv för dig
För att du ska förstå... att jag älskar dig

Things that you do and say
Hurt so badly sometimes
It´s not like you´re mean
But you don´t know what
I´ve been going through
And even if you did know, you still wouldn´t´understand...
Cause even I don´t
So I have to tell you
That every word you say can make me cry
Even if you didn´t have a bad intension
I´m very sensitive and so easy to break
So try to not say anything
Anything that reminds me of my past

giving up on me

I can hear it on their voices
I can see it in their eyes
Everyone is giving up on me..

It really took a long time for me to see
That they have lost their hope
Lost their hope on me

And now they are bored out and tired of my sellfish ways
Tired of my mood swings and new scars

well I can´t blame them..

Atleast they can leave whenever they want
But I will always be stuck with myself

Teared apart of fear

The fear that breaths in my heart
Tears me slowly apartI can hardly breath
The panic flows up in my lungs
A word vomit is stuck to my tounge
I´m screaming in to the pillow, pain, pain
Over and again

I´m shaking, starring into the wall as I lay in my bed
I start to hit myself, try to bang the voices out of my head
They keep reminding me of everytime I´ve got hurt
Remind of every lie I´ve heared

I feel so weak and cold
So lonly and forgotten

I wish I was somewhere else
With someone to warm me
Hold me and comfort me


I hate being alone
I alway start to hear these voices
That remindes me of what I want to forget

I wish I had a beutiful voice so I could sing to you

I really wish that I could sing
I wish that I had a beutiful voice
Cause in that case I would sing for you
Sing from my heart
Songs of love, that I wrote just for you
Maybe the you would understand
How much I really love you
You know.. my heart beats only for you
And no one else
I wish I had a voice like an angel
Then I would sing for you
Straight from the heart
Songs about how much I love

I can´t explain how much I love you

I can´t explain all my feelings
How much I actually love you
You are the light in my life
The only one that keeps me alive

It´s so hard for me to explain
I can´t find the right words
No, you are something else
Something speciall

And that scars me so
Cause I´m not like you
No, I´m just like everyone else
There is nothing speciall with me

I´m not worthy you
No, I´m not worth anything
But still you are with me
Still you say that you love me..

Am I dreaming?
This can´t be true
How can someone like you love someone like me?

Obsessed with death

You asked me why I´m so obsessed with death
And I couldn´t find an answear
There is something....just something..
Unexplainable..
I guess I love the pain
Blood sticking to my skin
Beutiful scars that are so vain
It´s like they are filling an empty hole..
Deep inside of me..

And I can´t help but to be courius
What would happend if I died?
Is there a so called brighter side?
Does a heaven exist?
Or maybe I would be able to start over again
But I´m not only obsessed with death
No, it scars me to
What if death is worser than life
Maybe it´s more painful

Who knows?... only the dead does
The wandering souls around us
Should I ask?
Would they answear me?
Or even hear me?

I tried to ask my dead brother
I have always believed since I was a kid, that he is my guardian angel
And I still do
But when I asked him
I started to panic
Someone started to drag me around the hall
Hurted me,laugh at me

Whispering: I can´t stop, I´m to obsessed

Why can´t they kill me?
Why just play with me!?

Where am I?
What´s happening?

I take the knife, life is to scary to me
And so are death
But I guess I´m just to obsessed

How can you love her? correctly me..

How can you love such a freak?
A girl who is just to weak
She is made of insecurities
And makes to many securities
How can you love a gril who refuse to believe you?
She refuse to believe a word you say
Why do you still stay?
She is spyko, there is to much violents in her heart
Why don´t you just leave her and tear her apart?
She want you to love her forever
But she knows that she´s not worth it, has she ever?
No she can´t find a reason why
So she is scared that you´ll lie
Why do you love her?
Why not just leave her?
She´s fucked up, can´t erase the memories
She hear voices, see things that doesn´t exist, the deamon enemies


How can you love her?
Or correctly... how can you love me?

._.

Screaming out words that nobodys hears

Words of the pain I´ve bin carried this past eight year

I can scream right into your ear

But you will still not hear...

want to be fake

Don´t be fooled by my smiles and laughter, it´s all fake

The fake words I say, the fake wounds I make

It´s just a game, I´m just a trick

You should know better then to trust me

I´m just playing with you all

So I can hurt you, like you hurt me

You better not trust me

Don´t you see?

I´m all fake, you can´t trust me

Gammal dikt...

Ensamhet dödar en långsamt och smärtsamt

Långsamt sprids smärtan genom hela kroppen

Tills den inte orkar röra sej mer

Ända tills det bara är tomma tankar och gråt kvar

Blodfläckar överallt, sängen, golvet, väggen..

Såren är djupa, svider o bränns

Inget är som du tror, inget är förlåtet

I AM:

I´m angry, your the one to blame
I´m sad, I´m never going to be the same
I´m hungry, never eat enough
I´m mad, the pain is just to rough

I love you

I love the way you make me so happy
And the ways you show you care
I love the way you say ”I love you”
And the way you are always there

I love you with all of my heart
My body and my soul
I love the way I keep loving
Like a love I can´t control

I love you today
As I have from the start
I´ll love you forever
With all of my heart

Dikter: I´m dead

Dikter: I´m dead